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First, understand that acknowledging the ways in which you perpetuate racism is not nearly as painful as being on the receiving end of that racism. As a black, Latino gay man raised in the conservative South, I too once internalized problematic beliefs. To unpack and understand what makes sexual preferences racist, you have to understand that anti-blackness is a core American value.

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No matter your gender or sexual orientation, dating can seem like a minefield. Sometimes we meet the wrong people, choose a bad venue or fall head over heels with someone who just wants to be friends. We can be a very picky bunch.